


Reaching Out

by QueerBeeNamedLee



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: (sort of), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Drug Addiction, Drug Withdrawal, Gen, Hinata Hajime-centric, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown, Overdosing, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:00:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29350830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueerBeeNamedLee/pseuds/QueerBeeNamedLee
Summary: Hinata Hajime was struggling. He thought he had found escape through that syringe, but it just turned out to be another prison. He wasn’t going to drown. He was going to get out of this. If only it weren’t so hard to do alone...In other words, Hajime becomes addicted to heroin. After overdosing and almost dying, he resolves to fight his addiction. There are going to be other characters who show up eventually, but in the beginning, Hajime faces this issue alone.I made a playlist based around this: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/334AxFgMqrr2rj7Aghu7mH?si=4s-X1_wfR5WyCfkgy2CWew(I can’t figure out how to embed links)Due to the subject matter, there is going to be a lot of potentially uncomfortable, upsetting, or outright triggering content. Please mind the tags!
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Koizumi Mahiru, Hinata Hajime & Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime & Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko, Hinata Hajime & Nanami Chiaki, Hinata Hajime & Soda Kazuichi, Hinata Hajime & Tsumiki Mikan
Comments: 5
Kudos: 9





	1. Just This Once...

**Author's Note:**

> I will try my best to handle all of the issues presented here in a realistic, accurate, and respectful manner, so please tell me if you feel like I could do a better job of that! Any and all constructive criticism is appreciated (I’m not saying you have to- just if you notice something and want to tell me I’d love it if you did so)! Any comments are appreciated, but again; you don’t have to! Just you reading is still amazing!

He tightly gripped the edge of the grimy yellow-ish sink. His hands hurt from holding on so hard, but he was sure he’d fall right over if he let go. He violently shook as gasps and sobs wracked his body. Hot tears slowly leaked from his eyes and dripped down his face.

He just wanted this to pass already. He wanted to stop feeling like this. It was so so horrible. It hurt so bad, just breathing ~~or the lack thereof~~ hurt. 

He coughed as he tried and failed to regulate his sporadic breathing. He needed control- he needed _relief_ , and he didn’t care how he was going to get it. He just wanted it all to stop already.

His head snapped up as he remembered the man he had bumped into earlier - when it wasn’t broad daylight but wasn’t encroaching on tomorrow like it was in the current moment - and what had been exchanged between them.

It had been a stupid, spur of the moment decision. It had mostly been because he hadn’t wanted to risk whatever consequences might have come with refusing to purchase that man’s... product.

But really, actually doing the deed had been much riskier than refusal, with laws as strict as they were. But he had risked it anyway, as he had heard of people using it in order to feel numb (it hadn’t been in endorsement of any means, but he didn’t care what happened to himself anymore, he just wanted it all to stop). If he was being completely honest with himself, he was curious.

He knew the risks, but he’d do anything, _anything_ to not feel like this anymore. 

With shaking hands, he opened the cabinet above the sink. The moments before he was staring directly at a syringe of supposed instant relief were a shaky, stressed out blur. 

He had never really had the biggest fear of needles, although his pain tolerance wasn’t anything remarkable either. But in that moment, those things seemed to be flipped on their heads, much like everything else he thought he knew. 

He shouldn’t do this, not only was it very much illegal, but it would ultimately end up doing more harm than good in the long run. If he did what he had almost accepted that he was about to do, it would be like signing a contract. A contract that had many loopholes that would all be very hard to get through.

But on the other hand, he didn’t just _want_ this. He _needed_ it. He _needed_ to stop feeling this way. He was out of options.

As stupid and dangerous what he was about to do was, he really couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. He tried to steady his hands as much as he could.

This was really happening. He was really about to do this. There wouldn’t be any turning back after that needle plunged into his vein. No more stalling. This was happening. If he was going to make this mistake, he should just make it already.

He lined the needle up with a blue vein on the tender underside of his right wrist. 

If he could have breathed in that moment, he would have taken a deep breath. Alas, he would not be graced with such a privilege this time. 

He slammed his thumb down onto the plunger. He gasped sharply and let out a small “Ah!” at the sharp pain that was quickly overpowered by a strange rush that sent a shudder throughout his body. It was mesmerizing. His tears stopped flowing, but at this point he wasn’t aware of it ~~or much of anything else for that matter~~ .

He felt a wave of nausea and gagged, but didn’t vomit. He felt warm.

“Hah...”

His breathing went from much too fast to much slower than it should have been. But he was already so far gone that the sensation was dim.

His eyelids drooped and he blinked several times to try and adjust to the fog that had settled over his pained mind. 

He slowly eased his grip on the sink and tried to take a step back, which just ended up being a half-trip/half-stumble. He fell forwards back onto the sink with a small “Mmnf” sound escaping his dry mouth. 

He weakly and shakily pushed himself up, his arms feeling strangely numb to the sensation. When he stood up this time, he was able to support himself on legs that were trembling ever so slightly. He took a testing step forwards.

He then stumbled into the plain and dark living room. Various undetectable thoughts flickered dimly throughout his clouded mind. He fell face down onto the soft grey couch.

His labored and slow breathing was audible, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care. Everything was slow and numb, but he felt a strange, tingling sensation of satisfaction and invigoration. His brain felt like it had accomplished something, but that didn’t really make much sense.

He didn’t really care where the feelings were coming from or why; he just knew he liked them. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have done this. Maybe he shouldn’t have liked it so much. But he did, and there wouldn’t be any going back. If that meant he could feel this way often, then he didn’t think he wanted to go back. 

Maybe these feeling were just constructed by happy chemicals; dopamine clouding his judgement and controlling his feelings. But he didn’t really care. 

Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.


	2. Stirrings of Dependence

It was a mistake. It was a huge mistake and he had known it. But now?

He wanted nothing more than to make that mistake again. And again. And again and again until he couldn’t anymore.

He was sweating and fidgeting. He bit his lip. He had screwed up big time. Yet despite knowing that and knowing that this mess he had gotten himself into was far from good...

The majority of his brain just wanted one thing and was begging him to give in. 

Really, he had signed up for this. He had known what was going to happen when he put that spike into his wrist. He didn’t like being so helplessly dependent on... anything, really. But especially not something as severe as ‘it’ was.

Really, there was no point in fighting it. All he was doing was sitting here thinking about it, so he might as well...

He had done this a few times already, and every time he gave in eventually.

As had already become muscle-memory, he stood up and walked to the bathroom. His steps echoed through the empty apartment. He turned the corner to step through the door frame towards the sink and the cabinet above it. He reached towards said cabinet, but retracted his hand slightly in hesitation.

He shouldn’t be doing this. If he let this go on for much longer, then it was bound to turn into an addiction-

But then it hit him. It was already far too late to be having those thoughts. If he still had a choice, then why was he here despite knowing full well what was happening and, somewhere deep down inside, wanting it to stop? Why did he start twitching after only an hour or two of being without the substance’s effects? 

He couldn’t stop at this point if he wanted to...

And either way, he wasn’t sure he _did_ want to. 

“Ah...”

He wiped the small amount of tears from his face. He really was pathetic, wasn’t he? He had willingly gotten himself into this mess, and now that it had dawned in him that it would have consequences, he was crying over it. Typical.

He decided to just get it over with already. He opened the cabinet and pulled out a syringe. He looked at the amount of said objects he had in confusion for a moment, before remembering when he went out to get them yesterday. Based on the amount, he had already known deep down inside that this was going to happen, or he had gotten more than he anticipated.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts, then lined the needle up with his vein. He breathed in deeply, then exhaled as he pushed down the plunger. 

He tipped his head back a little, savoring the rush that coursed through his body. Just like that, all of his conflicted thoughts were banished and replaced with a feeling of pleasure and ecstasy.

Yeah, he definitely didn’t want to stop this anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter’s so short; it’s mostly just exposition and filler. The next chapter is going to be where the story really starts to pick up though!
> 
> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> (My Tumblr is leetheseventh if you wanna talk to me and/or see some random headcanons from time to time)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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